Talk:Bacteria and Heart Disease: Difference between revisions

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I think that the information on the bacteria is solid and you bring up multiple modes of transmission to explain how the heart is susceptible to these bacterial infections. My only suggestions are to italicize the microbes listed and also to readjust the research section of the E. faecalis. By that I mean to first introduce what the research is studying (like what you have at the end of the paragraph) and then after that explain what the researchers found and any conclusions they made from that. By briefly mentioning the significance of studying the AS proteins, you will orient the reader a little bit more before diving into what the research shows. Great job! -Gwen Tosaris
I think that the information on the bacteria is solid and you bring up multiple modes of transmission to explain how the heart is susceptible to these bacterial infections. My only suggestions are to italicize the microbes listed and also to readjust the research section of the E. faecalis. By that I mean to first introduce what the research is studying (like what you have at the end of the paragraph) and then after that explain what the researchers found and any conclusions they made from that. By briefly mentioning the significance of studying the AS proteins, you will orient the reader a little bit more before diving into what the research shows. I would also mention atherosclerosis, which is what I think you were going for when talking about cholesterol build up. Great job! -Gwen Tosaris

Latest revision as of 14:51, 1 May 2018

I think that the information on the bacteria is solid and you bring up multiple modes of transmission to explain how the heart is susceptible to these bacterial infections. My only suggestions are to italicize the microbes listed and also to readjust the research section of the E. faecalis. By that I mean to first introduce what the research is studying (like what you have at the end of the paragraph) and then after that explain what the researchers found and any conclusions they made from that. By briefly mentioning the significance of studying the AS proteins, you will orient the reader a little bit more before diving into what the research shows. I would also mention atherosclerosis, which is what I think you were going for when talking about cholesterol build up. Great job! -Gwen Tosaris