Talk:HIV Drug Resistance

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Revision as of 15:47, 29 April 2014 by Perronei (talk | contribs) (Comments - Ian)
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The content of your page looks great. My only suggestion is that you go through and polish some of the writing a bit more. There are a few small nit-picky issues: for example, in your first paragraph you say "In 1981, five previously healthy Los Angeles men presented with pneumocystis pneumonia, caused by a fungus that results in the lungs filling with fluid and becoming badly scarred exclusively in people with weakened immune systems". The structure of this sentence is a bit awkard... perhaps you could change it to say something like: "In 1981, five previously healthy Los Angeles men presented with pneumocystis pneumonia. This fungal infection, normally only seen in immunocompromised individuals, causes aggregation of fluid and serious scarring within the lungs". Other areas are simply missing commas. For instance: "Prior to 1996, when combination antiretroviral therapy was developed HIV was considered a fatal illness". There should be a comma after "developed" to preserve the flow of first and last parts of the sentence. Like I said though, you've done a good job with the content of the page - it's also laid out in a way that makes sense. Nicely done! - Ian