Talk:Link Between Microbes and Obesity
Overall this is a well put together page. The images are easy to understand and go along well with the text. Just a few things: I think it would be break your headings into even smaller sections; I feel like "gut microbiota" and "Current Research" are very vague headings. This will help organize the page, make the sections look less daunting, and allow the reader to better connect ideas. For example, I think your Current Research Section could be broken down by the specific studies you looked at. You could expand on them more, provide a figure for each, etc. Also, be sure to cite all of your information. Number your references and then refer to the numbers in the txt. Finally, expand more on your conclusion it seems to only be referring back to the current studies. Maybe mention even more about a possible future direction? What are some mysteries that are still present? -Nicole Valentini
General comments: First off, this paper was easy to read and follow. I didn't feel like any of the information was over my head. It was well organized. I would cite your sources and show where you are getting your information from. It helps the reader know where to go if they want to read more information about the certain topic. Also, I would make more space between the paragraphs. It is a bit hard to tell where a paragraph ends and when one starts. If you don't want to make more space, at least put indentations in. Next, be careful about redundancy. For example, the 2nd paragraph in the intro section uses "some bacteria" often. In addition, you can maybe change the size of some pictures such as Figure 2 or 4, so the readers can view them better.
Comments by section: Intro- This is a good broad view of the topic. You might be able to use a few specific cases (if you wanted).
Human Gastrointestinal Tract- In the 2nd sentence, what do you mean the GI tract includes most of the small intestine? Also, I would establish that you are going to be using the GI tract abbreviation when you first introduce the word.
Gut Microbiota- Try adding some transitions between the sentences because most sentences start with "The." Also this sentence is awkward: The total number of cells in a human body is 90% living cells. Maybe reword it?
Current Research- Didn't you already say this in Gut Microbiota section: Human gut-microbe populations fall into three distinct categories. The three categories are named after the dominant genus: Bacteroides, Prevotella, and Ruminococcus? To make the different research studies stand out more from your page, I would make a bold title or something so the readers know what is coming next. You may also want to include actual figures from the research.
--Katie Adlam
